Hello! I’m here! I’m alive!
I’ve been pretty distracted from the blog lately. Now, don’t get excited thinking that I’ve been spending all my former blogging time training for my first full marathon (in TWO weeks). That would just be silly. I haven’t been blogging or training. I’ve been shopping for houses, and watching HGTV for more inspiration for house shopping!
Sadly, I’m not joking. My training has been sad, sad, sad. I’ve been averaging 20 miles per week-ish. That’s right, my first full marathon, and I decided that running, or really any form of exercise, is not an integral part of the training program. Because of all my injuries, I planned to follow a training program that only requires 3 runs per week. But usually I skip one run and shorten another. So…I’m not feeling too prepared.
Of course, because my running is out of practice, it’s sloooooooow. Really, really slow. Then, because I’m so slow, it makes me think that I’m bad at running, and then I don’t want to run, because I don’t like doing things that I’m bad at.
It’s a vicious cycle.
This cycle has left me completely uninterested in the marathon. I certainly won’t be reaching my original, ambitious goal of a sub-4 marathon. But, much worse than that, I’m not even enjoying running! I don’t like running these days, I really don’t!
I’ve always thought a lot of runners are crazy. I mean, some people run so hard that they end up puking. That’s crazy! So often I wonder if my runner friends even like running. They make themselves miserable if they don’t run as they expected, and I end up wondering, “Are they even having fun???”
I always vowed that I would keep running fun.
Well, as I said, these past few months, running has not been fun. I don’t like marathon training. I don’t like having a training schedule telling me what to do. I don’t like running over 10 miles. I just don’t like it.
I’ve concluded that I want running to be fun again. I just want to get this marathon over with so that running can be cool and casual and the best-thing-ever again.
So…that’s how I went into my last long run of this training cycle. Just wanting to be done. Husband Saign and I were going on vacation, and before we left, I wanted to fit in a 20-miler. Halfway through, I realized that a) I was miserable, and b) I wasn’t going to be ready to leave for vacation on time. I called Husband Saign and had him pick me up.
This left me with the conundrum of trying to fit a 20-mile-run in on a vacation in which we were visiting 5 National Parks in 1 week. So…it wasn’t going to be easy. Finally, on Thursday night, I decided that I was going to get up early in the morning to run my 20 miles.
I woke at 5 and ran in the dark at Zion National Park.
It was terrifying. I had planned to run a trail near our campground, but within the first half-mile, I saw glowy eyes running towards me. Ack! Glowy eyes! So…that was the end of that, I was not going anywhere near a trail in the dark. I ended up running the mile loop between our campsite and the Visitor’s Center until it was light enough that I thought I might be able to see a mountain lion running towards me. My achilles was hurting, which frightened me, and I took off my running shoes and joined Husband Saign in the tent. I decided to quit. I didn’t want to risk injury, I wasn’t having fun. I was scared of mountain lions.
After 5 minutes, I decided that I was fine, put my shoes back on, and finished the run.
I did it! 20 miles! And it was less painful than the 18.5 miles I had done a few weeks prior!
It wasn’t super enjoyable, but it gave me a confidence boost: I am going to finish the marathon, slowly but surely, without injury, and (hopefully) without crying!
After the 20-mile-run, I went for a short hike and then a long horseback ride! I couldn’t believe how well my body and brain were functioning after so many miles!
Two weeks from now, I’ll finish my first marathon.
After that, I plan to work on having FUN with running!
Do you ever struggle to find the fun in running???